BAD HABITS DIE HARD

Today’s lunch hour included a little trip to Addition Elle, which is a nice store as far as plus size stores go (the few they have to offer anyway), but I can’t wait for the day that I no longer need to shop there.  I needed a new pair of black pants for work, so thought I would just pop in and grab a pair.  I thought maybe, just maybe I can get into a smaller size. I have no idea why on earth I would think this, but there I was trying to squeeze into a smaller size.  Well didn’t I set myself up for disappointment.  I got back to work with pants in hand and a chocolate chip cookie.  This is how I ended up shopping there in the first place I thought. A cookie to make me feel better about not being able to fit into a smaller size.  Good one.  Good thing I had a grilled chicken sandwich and a side salad for lunch.  On another note, very glad I skipped the house dressing at Swiss Chalet – one package has a whopping 18 grams of fat! 

FORBIDDEN FRUIT

Baby sitting and dog/ house sitting was something I did frequently growing up and living out of someone else's kitchen was um let's say interesting. They stocked their cupboards with goodies I could only dream of! I found myself sampling every off limit food they had.  It was a good thing I was so good with children and dogs or I don't know that I would have been invited back!

This week I unexpectedly had a visit from the past as I babysat my sister in laws dog at her house for two nights. As I walked into the kitchen with the sub I picked up on the way over, I was greeted by two bags of chips, a box of cookies and mini Easter cream eggs all displayed on the counter!

The first night was a disaster; I sampled a cookie, the fully loaded potato chips that I had never tried, the regular potato chips that I had tried a million times and the mini eggs. Why is this food so appealing and what makes me dive right in with no care in the world? As I write this, I think forbidden fruit; these foods were always off limits and we all want what we can't have right? How do I change this?

Day two I managed to pull it together and get through the night having only one mini cream egg.  I honestly don’t even know why I bothered...I didn’t even really enjoy it.

The next time I dog sit, I will be sure to remind the home owners to put away all temptation for me!  I mean, it’s one thing to be challenged by one piece of forbidden fruit, but this was just too much to handle.

DOWN 3

Had great success on the scale this week - hurray, down 3 lbs! 

This is over the course of two weeks since well, stepping on a scale last Sat. morning after a party wouldn't have been in my favour. I knew the scale would show remnants from the night before, and why should I walk away discouraged, when I very well know I had a great week...well minus a few too many cocktails of course.

Speaking of which, I'm not sure if Sat. morning weigh in is a good idea in general, but I suppose it keeps me in check.

Goodbye 236

TRAIN YOUR BRAIN

Today I’m starting to follow The Beck Diet Solution thanks to my friend Kara who introduced me to it.  This is in addition to WW and in short, it’s a cognitive therapy book that helps you make changes in the way you think that will in turn, help the way you eat or like the book says "train your brain to think like a thin person".  In the short time I have been reading this book it has already helped me get back on track after a wee set back.  Wednesday was the day (hello beer, wings and wine gums), and normally after an episode like this I wouldn’t have taken the high road the following day.  I would have thrown in the towel (because I went way over my WW points) with my all or nothing thinking and started over again after my next weigh in. What crazy thinking right!  Instead, I decided to really watch what I ate the next day with lots of fruits and veggies.  Simple really, and it's what a lot of thin people do naturally, but for those of us who have dieted since they can remember it doesn't come natural.

Day one of the BDS has you write down all the reasons why you want to lose weight.  I have a list of 22, but to name a few:

1. I will feel better physically and mentally (I am tired a LOT and my moods are up and down)

2. I will get more out of life (there are too many things I don't do b/c of my weight)

3. I will live longer

4. I will like myself more

5. I will get joy out of shopping for clothes!

All of these reasons including the other 17 I will read twice a day.  My iphone is currently set with a reminder at 11:30 & 5:00 - right before lunch and dinner to remind me of why I will eat healthy.

Cheers and happy Friday – I’ll be back tomorrow with an update on my weight loss.

SUGAR, SUGAR

Sugar and I go way back.  I remember my first trip to the corner store with my Sister (yes you know who you are) to pick up penny candy and lemon lime pop.  I remember saving my pennies to make trips to the local variety shop to buy big foots and sour keys, the trip to the tuck shop at Girl Guide camp and multiple trips to 7-Eleven with my nephews.  It always was about sugar for me.  As a young girl I danced.  During my classes, my Mom would wait for me in the coffee shop.  My reward when done was none other than a chocolate éclair.

Sugary foods in general were not allowed in the house, among many other snacks. Although my Mom didn't have an issue with sugar, she did have her off limit foods that she didn't keep in the house because of lack of control.   I often found myself asking friends...You mean you're allowed keep chips and Joe Louis in the cupboard? Crazy.

I know sugar is my biggest problem with food in general and I don’t know how to tackle it.  Do I completely get rid of it in my diet, or do I set rules?  I don’t want to completely deprive myself to cause a binge down the road, but just like any other addiction, no sugar is enough and having the right amount and too much is a very fine line.

STEP IT UP BABY

I joined WW Dec 15, 2012 (yes right before Christmas).  It may seem a little strange, but I wanted to do it, and I was afraid I would change my mind so I jumped right it (head first, as always).  Although I certainly didn’t lose any weight over the holidays, I more or less maintained my weight which is more than I could hope for really.  Since then, I haven’t been very successful.  I’ve been inconsistent…losing a couple of lbs at the beginning of Jan, but gaining it back.  I have lots of excuses, but they’re just that, excuses…and I’ve got lots, but not worth mentioning. 

I’ve been down this road with Weight Watchers before….and I’m NOT doing it again.  Lose a little here, gain a little there, and here I am at the same weight I started at Dec 15th. 

STARTING FRESH

#1 Weight in: 239.6… (and you’re thinking like really, you need to include the .6?  Believe me; if I were to lose just that .6 next week, I will have lost over a half a lb of butter, so you’re dam straight I will mention it).

This actually gives me major anxiety to actually share my weight with you, but if I’m going to be real, and I really want it off, what better way than put it all out there. 

Goodbye 239

PS.  What do you think of me not logging my food here on the blog?  I’m not sure how realistic it is to write everything down, on top of logging everything into WW.

The last few days my food intake has been very good as far as good goes for me, but I have to wonder if this would be good in a person’s world who doesn’t struggle with food? 

Monday went out to lunch with a friend, ate half of my sandwich and a bowl of soup.  It was one of the healthier choices on the menu - a vegan panini with roasted veggies and roasted red pepper soup (toot toot).  Realized half way through that I was full so put half away for later.  Get back to the office, an hour has passed and I go to grab the other half of the sandwich.  What a second, what am I doing?  I know very well that I don’t need this, but I have a huge urge to eat it.  It’s a very physical sensation, like I really want to bite down on something.  As the day passes the urge grows every time I read a stressful e-mail.  I know I have been an emotional eater, but it’s never been so obvious to me.  Yes the sandwich is still on my desk, and maybe I should move it, but I think it’s a good test. 

Close to 3:00, I give into the ‘wich.  I’m not sure if I waited long enough, or if the hunger I was feeling was legitimate enough, but I resisted the intense emotional urge and dove in.  I’m not going to beat myself up too much here, it is after all a vegan sandwich. 

2/19/13

Breakfast –

English muffin with 1 tbsp of almond butter

Banana

2 x Coffee w 1 % milk & 1 sugar

Lunch –

Grilled veggies on a focaccia rosemary bread with avocado alioli

Roasted red pepper soup

Snack -

apple

Dinner –

Swiss chalet qtr chicken with a side mash and bun

Side soup

Snack –

Tarragon and mint tea

applesauce

2/20/19 –

Breakfast –

coffee

granola bar

yogurt

Snack –

banana & apple

Lunch –

Garden salad w oil and vinegar dressing

Bowl of Bacon, Cauliflower and White Bean Soup...(very good recipe will post another time)

Snack –

Green tea

Mulled cider tea

**don’t feel I’ve had enough to eat today…hence the tea overload

Unplanned snacking –

handful of peanuts

Dinner –

Baked cod, rice and broccoli

chocolate pudding